If I am asked, what is one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given to me in this life? I will say without hesitation that it is you my mum. 10th of June will be the 2nd anniversary since you left us. But the pain of losing you is still the same as two years ago.
They say that time will heal all wounds, but the wound of losing you will remain open and unhealed. May be it will heal with time, or someday. Who knows? I remember the first few months after your death. I would cry myself to sleep. Ask God why He took you away from us so soon. Then it changed. I would go to sleep thinking of your smile, laughter, your voice and face so that my subconscious mind may think of you in my dreams. Sometimes I would dream of you and other times it would only be a mirage.
I would sit down and imagine you there, remember the good times we shared and the challenging moments we went through that kept us close. My childhood were the best because of you mother. Your dedication to parenthood was beyond imagination. Playing the role of both a father and mother. I remember during my final year in high school. You had severely injured your leg and undergone two surgeries on the same leg.
But you still came to visit me and encouraged me to do my best in my exams, despite the pain that you were in. Should I mention the constant advice and life lessons that you had for me? I don’t know how you did it, but you knew when to be a loving mother, disciplinarian, wise counsel, mama bear and a friend.
If someone today asks who my role model is, it will be you mum. I have people who have inspired me in my life, but each admirable characteristic trait that I’ve picked in them had been all found in you. This reminds me when I was fresh out of college and doing my internship. I would push myself to wake up very early in the morning at around 4:00 AM, leave Rongai town so as to reach work in Nairobi City on time. In the evening, I would arrive in the house at around 10:00 PM because of the traffic Jam on our roads and it was worth it. I would tell myself that I am doing this for you.
You were always behind the strength for me to push myself more and achieve my goals. You know what made it even better, the evening calls with you. They were the best times of my days back then. We would talk for long and your parting words were always “Nakuombea mtoto wangu” (I am praying for you my child). I miss those words every day. There are something’s that only you could do best and still we try to follow your ways. I don’t think anyone can ever fit in your shoes.
Now the pain of losing you is a bitter/ sweet experience. I don’t want to think that I will never see you again on this earth. At the same time, I cry tears of both joy and sadness when I think of all the times we spent together. I thank God for giving me the time to know you and have you in my life. I feel blessed to have had someone like you close by and each day, I pray to God to keep your soul safe.
Mummy, may you keep on smiling down on us. We miss you dearly.
Always your loving daughter.